It is a strange sort of pain "to die of yearning for something you'll never experience"

Monday, April 28, 2003

i'm the 11th member of an international blog.i'll post a note each 31th day of the month.
check it out here.

Saturday, April 26, 2003

می گم:می گذره، بزرگ می شم،احمق می شم،حالم خوب می شه.
می گم:می گذره، اونم بزرگ می شه.اونقدر که دیگه دلم واسش کوچیک می شه
نفسش می گیره،پا می شه میره.منم خوب می شم.
می گم....
اونقدر گفتم که خوابم برد.
خواب خوبه.
خوب می شم..یکی از همین روزا...

چیز هائی را ندیده ای:
تمام اشکهائی که ریختم و هنوز...
تمام لبخندهائی که زدم و هنوز...
تمام پریشانیهایم....
همه به خاطر بودنت... بودنت...

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

Fear of Bliss

my misery has enjoyed company
and although I have ached
I don't threaten anybody
sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you
sometimes I wonder why I quell when I'm not required to

I've tried to be small I've tried to be stunted
I've tried roadblocks and all
my happy endings prevented

sometimes I feel it's all just too big to be true
I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do

fear of bliss and fear of joyitude
fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?)

I could be golden I could be glowing I could be freedom
but that could be boring

sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true
I sabotage myself for fear of losing you

this talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down
under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone

I could be full I could be thriving I could be shining
sounds isolating

sometimes I feel this is too good to be true
I sabotage myself for fear of what my joy could do


" why are you running away?.."

why am i running away???

Sunday, April 20, 2003


I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun

I think I'm dumb
or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
my heart is broke
But I have some glue
help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll come down
And have a hangover... have a hangover

Skin the sun
Fall asleep
Wish away
The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up

i'm back to Nirvana's time.and it,it feels like home.
Lounge Act

Truth covered in security
I can't let you smother me
I'd like to but it couldn't work
Trading off and taking turns
I don't regret a thing
And I've got this friend, you see
Who makes me feel and I
Wanted more than I could steal
I'll arrest myself, I'll wear a shield
I'll go out of my way to prove I still
Smell her on you

Don't tell me what I wanna hear
Afraid of never knowing fear
Experience anything you need
I'll keep fighting jealousy
Until it's fucking gone

I'll go out of my way to make you a deal
We've make a pact to learn from who
Ever we want without new rules
We'll share what's lost and what we grew
They'll go out of their way
To prove they still
Smell her on you

The Man Who Sold The World

We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago

Oh no, not me
I never lost control
You're face to face
With The Man Who Sold The World

I laughed and shook hishand, and made my way back home
I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazley stare at all the millions here
We must have died along, a long long time ago

Who knows? not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the Man who Sold the World

Originally by David Bowie

i've missed the smell of your room
i've missed the weak ray of sun coming into your room from that little window
i've missed the music
i've missed the colors
i've missed those hands hanging on the wall
i've missed the smell of cold water in the frig
and i've missed that bread i never ate

Monday, April 14, 2003

check out the official site for The Pianist here
and another related site here.

Saturday, April 12, 2003

Here's to you Mr.D
hey all:
somebody left me a very interesting message on my guestbook, check it now!
it might help you to know me better!
i'm rich! God!!! someone thinks i'm rich!
according to Mr.D's opinion,i'm a stupid( what's the word for ننر?) rich pal,who had not learned anything but to waste time on stupid stuff!
nice point of view sir!
you've known me through this blog perfectly..congratulations...
and please....spit!
and do me a favor....don't try to judge me with a concern such as "i love you,that's why...",ok?
say what you want... judge me..who cares..but don't fool me with such words..don't try to make me talk...
i like's like an album..some where i can collect stuff that i like.
i don't write here to share myself,i'm here to enjoy the things that i like in a different way.
if this doesn't amuses you,don't come.
but thanks for the message you left.i really enjoy the part where you call me rich!
Dear Mr.D,i forgot to tell,i don't belive in another world...i'm sorry to disappoint you,but i don't.
save your energy for someone who does..

Friday, April 11, 2003

Hands Clean

Is it just me or is it hot in here??
you've been born!
you're force to face this pile of shit called:world
you're lucky,they'll teach you to fly
they'll teach you to know yourself as a free soul
and then
after all the knowledge and all the flyin' stuff
they'll make you a big,nice,shinning,homey cage
and they teach you how to build cages exactly the way their own old dudes had thought them..
you grow try to break the get hurt..
you see someone else like you,in another two share the cages..more space
and one day
you make a being
you teach him to feel free
and at the same time,you start making the most beautiful,modern, shinning,homey cage for him..
you don't want to let him go...he's yours...what makes him think he can go????
i wish there was a room...where i could shout out loud,without being disturbed by the knock on the's always the delivery...
they finaly sent me my cage,what was the delay?

Monday, April 07, 2003

i'm still alive and i'm using the oxygen,but i just don't feel like talking ..i'm busy with my collections of photoes and songs and lovers!
have i cross the line?yeah..i know, this is not enough,not for you guys! lovely lazy creatures..
but me...i'm spending time to find me somewhere deep within! wish me luck and try to be patient!

Friday, April 04, 2003

spring-summer 2003

Adrien Brody, John Turturro, Stefano Dionisi, Roman Coppola and Cody Franchetti invite you to visit the new site. Photographed by Peter Lindbergh for the international advertising campaign, they are the outstanding testimonials who introduce the navigator to the extensive Ermenegildo Zegna site. Online in English and Italian from 16 January 2003, the new edition of the site isn’t just an updating of content related to seasonal collections, it also features innovative graphics and much simpler and more intuitive navigation, together with a sound track in four different musical styles that can be selected from each page.
i like the new graphics and all.and the music,it just fits there.especialy track 1.and Adrien...he's so cute in his Ermenegildo Zegnas'.