It is a strange sort of pain "to die of yearning for something you'll never experience"

Monday, December 09, 2002

my days are being spent! i guess by me.
well, i don't actualy remember how i spent the day at night! and that's the fun part,i sit there on my bed, with my hair up my head,scratching my toes trying to remember what i did all day!
..geting dressed as usual
trying to catch the bus as usual
and missing the bus as usual ofcourse!
but these are the daily stuff!
everyone does it, well i hope they don't miss the bus as much as i do, but that's what all poeple do,trying to pull themselves into the life of each moment of the day.
there are some other things which i do,like trying to write this blog thing in persian and always,belive me "always",delete the whole and start writing it in english!
or checking my mailbox every 2 hour hoping to get that expected "mail"!
or listening music,playing spider solitaire like some kinda meditation.
eat,looking at people.
yeah,people,lovely jerks. looking at you as if at a stranger with a raincoat prepering to dive in a pool full of lemon jelly!
ok, enough being such a noble socialized person!
let's get back to air!
next time, maybe tomorrow,when i'm in the mood to typed persian with my non-marked keyboard,i'm gonna add a poem here.
(non-marked keyboard, so you see why it seems that boring for me to type in persian),oh, well, there's another reason too,i feel strangly naked writing in persian! exactly the things which are personaly. i mean writing poems or pieces in persian is ok with me, the one who wrote them in the first place agreed to feel naked by publishing them.naked! i hope u know what i mean by that, soully naked! everyone knows what's going on, no black spots, no dark side, no secrets!
writing them in english has it's own naked-feeling stuff itself.but i can lean comfortable cuz nobody has the nerve to read them all....
thank you
thank you for being such lazy creatures!
you help me keep the dark side this way,thank you!

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