It is a strange sort of pain "to die of yearning for something you'll never experience"

Friday, February 28, 2003

به سميرا زنگ زدم...براش گفتم که دو نفر ديگه زنده نيستند...دو مرد جوان...
همينطور که توي سکوت بین جمله هام صدای نفس کشیدنشو گوش می کردم اشکهام کم کم راه افتادن(اتفاقی که خیلی کم پیش میاد)....
سمیرا صدای اشکهام رو شنید و گفت اما، تو الان برای اون گریه نمیکنی،برای اون گریه میکنی؟
اونوقت بود که خودمو دیدم که لبخند زدم و گوشی تلفن رو نزدیکتر آوردم و گفتم:
می دونی، واسه همینه که دوستت دارم..

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over
And it seems as though the writing's on the wall
Superstar you've finally made it
But once your picture becomes tainted
It's what they call the rise & fall

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

در زندگی زخمهايی هست که مثل خوره روح را آهسته در انزوا می خورد و می تراشد ...
اين دردها را نمی شود به کسی اظهار کرد ، چون عموما عادت دارند که اين دردهای باورنکردنی را جزو اتفاقات و پيش آمدهای نادر و عجيب بشمارند ...
صادق هدايت

Is it too late to show you the shape of my heart?

Saturday, February 22, 2003

more from know i'm a junkie.right?

Friday, February 21, 2003

i finally learned how to put images here, here's one...and yess this is alanis..

Monday, February 17, 2003

I am the question to the world,
Not an answer to the earth,
Or a moment that's held in your arms.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I wont listen anyway.
You don't know me and,
I'll never be what you want me to be..
(John Rzeznik)

Friday, February 14, 2003

see black talk and
the spy here...
and take a look at the dead bee too,that's my favorate..
well done B, well done..

well,couple of month ago i used to think that there must be some way to make it right.
several hours and several days went by and i was just there looking at my life and counting minutes that were filled with regret.
there was only one thing in my mind:"i gotta do something, i gotta take F back, i gotta.."

it took me more than 4 month to realize what has happened..what has been changed in me.
that was me,shaking in my shoes..for fear of losing F...not only F but anybody whom i get involve with..
fear of loving and being loved...fear of bliss(like A says)
and now i feel better cuz now i know what was missed in me...

Friday, February 07, 2003


Expression,it's a name,name of a very beautiful photo by my friend,B.
check it here
see the hands? beautiful.
thank you B, world's such a better place when we know someone remembers these moments, moments like

..I've been wanting your undivided attention
I like the fact that you're nothing like me....

یه دوست نازنین و عالی دارم،اسمش "بامداد"ِ،یکی از اون معدود آدمای نازنین،که این تازگیها کم پیدا می شن.این دوست خوب من عکاس خیلی خوبی هم هست و اینقدر ماهه که به من اجازه داده لینک عکساشو بذارم اینجا تا بقیه هم ببینن.

رنجی شگفت انگیز است.
مردن از درد غربت عشقی که هرگز با آن نخواهی زیست.
الساندرو باریکو از کتاب ابریشم(Soie)

Thursday, February 06, 2003

".. i was hoping
i was hoping we could heal eachother..
i was hoping we could crack eachother.."

Wednesday, February 05, 2003


Height is the one for me
It gives me all I need
And helps me co-excist with the chill
You make me sick because I adore you so
I love all the dirty tricks
And twisted games you play on me

Space dementia in your eyes
Peace will arise and tear us apart
And make us meaningless again

You'll make us want to die
I'd cut your name in my heart
We'll destroy this world for you
I know you want me to feel your pain

Space dementia in your eyes
Peace will arise and tear us apart
And make us meaningless again